When it’s cloudy, you are unable to get out of bed.

When it’s sunny, you reach over and open the window shade. You even prop up the pillows behind you and take your legs out from under the covers in order to start working on your tan.

When it’s rainy, you get tuckered out just calling in sick to work.

When it’s bright out, you get to the office only 45 minutes late.

When it’s overcast, you have trouble counting how many fingers are on each hand.

With sunrays shining upon you, you deftly use your fingers to calculate the tip you’d leave if you were to go out to lunch.

When it’s grey outside, your skin is the color of cement.

When the sun is out, people just stare at you with curiosity instead of also pointing and putting their hands over their mouths in horror.

During thunderstorms, you sob uncontrollably.

When the forecast is clear, you merely whimper.

All you do is think about how all of these marijuana dispensaries are opening, and how can one possibly find marijuana doctors? Where the heck would I get that info?


But dry your eyes, I have a new humor piece posted on Yankee Pot Roast. Read it by clicking on: